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HERE WE TELL HOW A CERTAIN NOVICE WAS AN HUNGERED, AND OUR LADY GAVE HIM MEAT
IT is told how a certain young man came to the house of Citeaux, that he might be made a novice of this brotherhood for he ardently desired to take the habit of religion, having his heart filled with exceeding great love for Our Lord and Our Lady, so that he longed to serve them. But because he had been gently bred, and had lived always sumptuously at the house of his father, that was a noble seigneur keeping much estate, this novice could little endure the hardships of the Rule. And especially the meat wherewith he was served in the convent did seem to him most harsh and savourless, so that scarcely could he bear to eat of it, and he was like to die of hunger. And of this he had great grief, for he knew not whether he should be able to end the noviciate he had begun, because of the weakness of his flesh.
Therefore, being advised by his Superior, he strove to conquer this frailty; praying to Our Lady Saint Mary with exceeding great fervour, that she would help him, and turn his heart
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to a love of holy poverty, and make sweet to him the hard and sour bread wherewith he was nourished. Yet still his stomach turned from it, whereby he endured great pains both of body and soul: for he saw that they that were of the brotherhood received this food gladly and ate of it with contentment, the which he could no wise do.
Now it happened one night that he had greatly prayed for strength that he might endure the discipline of the flesh, and had bewailed his state most bitterly before God with tears and supplications: and when he had so done, he lay down in his cell to sleep. And he was exceeding hungry, having still in his hand the piece of dry bread wherewith he had been served for supper; but he could not bear to eat of it, for it was very hard and sour. And as he so slept, the glorious Virgin Mary, who looks most tenderly on all that would serve her Son in the religious life, and seeks ever to help them in the inward battle they must wage, had compassion on him because he was so young and full of grief. And since she knew well what ailed him, she came to him there where he lay on his bed, and took him by the hand, saying
"Come, little son, rise up and follow me, and I will give you that food of which you stand in need. Now shall you eat to your satisfaction, for I am come not to give you the dry bread of bitterness, but rather to call you to that Banquet which my Son hath spread for His friends."
When the young novice saw the Queen of
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Heaven, that stood by his bedside as his mother might do, and heard her gracious words, he rose up, being wholly filled with love divine, and remembering nothing of the hunger that he had. And he thought within himself that she had come to lead him to some great feast; and he had great joy of it. Then she took him by the hand, and led him from his cell and forth into the cloister, and he saw that she would go toward the monastery church, for the which cause he had great amazement. And it was very dark, but in the light of her steps he walked securely.
So, when they were come to the church, he looked to see where the banquet might be spread. But no sign was there of any festivity, neither did Our Lady stay to look for it; but she brought him strait way to the place where the great Crucifix was hung, whereon Our Lord and Saviour Jesu Christ displays His Sacred Wounds.
Then, "Look!" said she. "Here is your feast made ready, for this is my Son, your Lord and God, Who died to make all things sweet to you. Therefore should you rejoice, sith now there is in all the world no bread so harsh but that His pains can savour it. But because you know not the taste of that meat which He prepares for His lovers, you go hungry; yet hath He said, 'Accipite et comedite.' Take therefore this crust of bread, the which you despise so greatly, and draw near dreading nothing, for verily He gave Himself that you might be fed. Now shall you dip this your meat into His wounded side, the which was pierced for you;
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and thereby you shall know whence comes the savour of that food wherewith poverty is nourished for His sake."
Then, when she had so spoken, that merciful Lady did lead the novice to the foot of the Tree of the Cross, and to her Son that hung thereon. And being so taught by her, he, that was now full of fear, for he knew that a great mystery was herein shown him, did let reach out his hand with exceeding awe and reverence, and dipped the crust that he carried deep into the wound that was in his Redeemer's side. And when he had so done, the glorious Virgin saith to him:
"Ecce Panis Angelorum!"
And lo ! when he did eat of this food, that had been dipped in the holy blood of Jesu Christ, an exceeding great peace entered into that novice's heart, and his hunger was altogether stilled; and he was refreshed both in body and soul. For it seemed to him that this crust was a Bread of more than earthly savour, the sweetest he had ever taken unto his mouth: so sweet was it that he desired it greatly, nor would he have had any other if he might. And kneeling down before that Cross whence came his comfort, he did give thanks to God and to His compassionate Mother, with great fervour and holy dread; being uplifted toward his Saviour with thanksgiving and burning love. And he said, as the Patriarch Job did do, "Quae prius nolebat tangere anima mea, nunc, prae angusta, cibi mei sunt”: for now it was revealed and
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made known to him by that holy food whereof with his hunger had been stilled, how that Jesu Christ did die in great grief upon the Tree that thereby He might bring to us poor sinners that Bread which the Blessed do desire. Yea! to them that have recourse to Him He giveth ever His very substance for their nourishment: the which maketh sweet the harsh bread of tribulation, and the bitter chalice of His children's tears.
